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Monday, December 6, 2010

On memories


I was eating PCP (pizza chicken point) with Shuk just now (erk) and our conversation started to drift into the topic of memory. It's amazing, how conversations develop and you start talking about butterflies and end up with how to topple the government. No, this conversation did not happen. I've always been fascinated with conversation flow and said to my mum, like, zillions of times
"we were talking about something else, and now all of a sudden we're talking about this"
Mum replies
"That's called conversation. If two people had nothing to talk about then it'd be boring"
Mums know a lot of life's truths :)

True. true. What if two people were talking and they suddenly ran out of ideas? You'd start looking at the walls and at the road and saying

"hmm..sooooo..there are ants on the sidewalk"

Awkwardness.

And I'd better start eating some fruits. All this chicken is making me feel clogged.

Where was I? Oh yes, the topic of memory. We started talking about memory. Shuk said he didn't remember anything before kindergarten. The farthest my memory goes is looking at the inside of the womb. I don't know if its a dream or not, but that's the earliest life experience i remember. I remember seeing my hands. And some blood vessels. And this reddish light. Shine-a-torchlight-through-your-hands kind of reddish light.

And suddenly i'm 3 years old. Standing at the edge of my parents' bed. Sitting in a car to go see my newborn baby brother. And we're all grown-up now, when did that happen? I don't know, but you can only cherish and smile at the things that have happened :') The irony of memories. You wish them to last forever, but if they were forever you wouldn't have sweet memories.

I love the times when i was 7 years old and we were in Ghana. It's ranked 130th on the Human Development Index, but when you're 7 years old you don't think about these things. The worst problem on my mind back then was how to write sentences using the given words. My mum said "just write simple words, like 'the pencil is red'". But I didn't want simple sentences, heavens no. I wanted sentences like 'I have a red pencil and it's used for doodling in my spare time'. Now that's an awesome sentence for a 7-year-old.

And i love primary school. Going back from sekolah kebangsaan. Eating lunch with my mum while the zohor azan was being called out. Sleeping a bit before sekolah agama. cycling to school. Losing my bicycle keys down the school toilet and asking my dad to carry my bicycle home. The little things are repetitive and boring when you're in them. But its the repetitive little things that you remember.

And i love the carefree months after finishing KY, before flying off. That's when you realise lots of things. These are the things money can't buy.

And i love now. Learning things that not a lot of people get to learn. Not accounting, anyone can learn that. Other things, things that are important when all is said and done. Filling my days with remembrance. Laying the groundwork for a revival of society. These are the things only God can give, and all the things he gave before? It's to shape you for what you are now.

You, the reader, i may not know your story and your memories, but you're not reading this as a coincidence. Once you really think about it, you'll realize you have a blessed life and all that God asks from you is obedience. simple :)

A friend of mine once said that i'm too optimistic. I know. And i love that as well :)))

2 comments:

Shah said...

Waaaa, beribu-ribu perasaan muncul bile bace post ko ni.. sedih + gembira + berdebar, ^__^

ikmal, biar betul ko masih igt wktu dlm womb??? pom*pom*
no wonder ko mmg kuat ingatan + super brilliant!! thanks God for all that =)

case aku cam shuk gak kot, tak igt those memories yg berlaku be4 masuk tadika.

anyway, it's a nice post and I was wondering, in the next 20years, you will post something like this, but with different characters, people and stories.. at that time, u will write the post ttg zaman 20-an ko, and mesti byk memories yg kita berkongsi bersama akan ditulis dlm post ko tu.. mesti seronok bila baca and igt balik =)

Ikmal Nordin said...

Sedih ngn gembira tu fhm lg, knp berdebar?? Ahaha ;)

Btl2, nnt lg 20 tahun apala agkny yg akn ditulis..mst mnitik2 bc post ni..hopefully x F lg..insyaallah :D