Saturday, June 7, 2014

one last trip

What would you give to have one last, perfect day with your loved ones?

Mama: "You know, this is the last trip that we're going on together. After this adik is going to fly, and along is getting married."

I'd give the world and everything that's in it.


Ask anyone who's married, and they'll tell you that its a very big step to take. But i guess that what crossed my mind were mostly rainbows and sunshine and butterflies, and the enormity and weight of what I'm getting myself into did not really sink in. Until this final holiday trip.

In many ways, this trip felt very different. My family loves to go on regular trips to a state up north, to rest and relax and go where the food is nice. Normally it would be a straight drive, stopping only at rest stations on the highway. But this time round

We stopped by my brother's old school, where he took photos for memory's sake

We took detours out of the highway to stop by several places that had wonderful food

And for the first time ever, my dad took selfies of the whole family at every restaurant we visited, 

My dad is not the type to say 'i love you boys', but i can understand from his actions that he's saying 'i love you boys' loud and clear.

'This is the last time we're eating here together. After this along and his wife will be bringing us here'...

*drip,drip* awh man, writing this down is so hard..big boys aren't supposed to cry, adoi...

I don't have the words to describe this trip..victory lap? Homecoming? Down memory lane? Manhood ritual? The reality sunk in that im no longer a big boy, no more depending on my parents, i'll be a man with responsibilities and my own family to bring up and educate. 

'(Patting parents' shoulders) jangan risau..janji ditepati' (don't worry..promises will be fulfilled) 

Parents would worry a lot of things, and you could understand that. Will he be too busy with his wife and neglect us? Will he be around to help? Will he even visit? My mum told me that parents always see their children as their little babies, no matter how grown-up they are. Remember that, even if you're a high-ranking somebody. You could have never reached that high without being lifted, after allah, by a pair of blessed hands, who held you since the day you were born, put up with your screaming and poo, and proudly smiled on every graduation day too. 

I am deeply grateful to Allah that this trip happened. It was close to perfect. The memories, the wonderful meals together, the subtle hints, the comforting words. At night we played Risk, a military board game and that was a perfect game too (perfect because, obviously, i won).

Probably the last time we would all be in the same car together. 

Everything that happened during this trip made me feel like it was destined to be a final, perfect day with your loved ones before moving on to another world. In a way i am moving on to another totally different world, people ask me 'are you ready' and i say 'sort of' but you cannot really be sure you're ready until you're actually married. Don't worry, we'll cross the bridge when we get to it. Insyaallah.

Thank you allah for gifting me with my parents.

Thank you allah for gifting me with my brothers.

Thank you allah for gifting me with my future half.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hope that allah will accept us altogether into a Garden where there would only be one eternal, unending, perfect day.