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Sunday, February 9, 2014

Diseases of a murabbi

10 Diseases that you definitely want to avoid as a murabbi, courtesy of ustaz wan ahmad sanadi and brother amri (and reformatted to fit with the spirit of this blog :D):

1. Tipus -Tidak punya selera (no appetite) - no appetite for tarbiyyah, no appetite to manage other people's tarbiyyah, no appetite for heart-to-heart talks. May result in premature death and hardening of the heart. Sobs

2. Mual - Mutu amat lemah (super low quality) - no quality. We don't conduct quality circles and don't produce quality men. No noticeable increase in akhlaq, to take an extreme example, cannot even read the quran well. Double sobs.

3. Kudis - Kurang disiplin (lacking discipline) - circles are conducted according to MMT (malay meridian time), which is always GMT+30 minutes. No one finishes their assignments. Walks like a duckling when late, instead of running like a gazelle. Discipline is a basic tenet of D&T, which is why we have mukhayyam (campings).

4. Asma - Asal masuk kelas (as long as you attend class)- 'i'm doing a big favor to da'wah by just being here, people need my aura'. Summed  up by the popular proverb, 'releasing cough on the stairs' (melepaskan batuk di tangga)

5. TB -Technology Blind - the fact that you are reading this blog on various devices means that you are vaccinated against this particular disease :D.

6. Kusta -Kurang strategi (lack of strategy)- if, in our jahiliyyah, we could create complex strategies to overcome goblins, ogres and trolls, we could surely come up with a strategy to turn ogres into princes who will rid the world of the evil empire! Muahahahaha

7. Kram - Kurang keterampilan (lack of appearance) - example: forgetting to brush your teeth since morning. Your mutarabbi will then hear about hell in addition to experiencing it first-hand.

8. Asam urat - Asal sampai bahan, tapi kurang akurat (inaccurate information) - 'err..i think that this sahabah said that..i think allah said it in this aayah, im not really sure..you guys lah check it out, this is tarbiyyah for you, im just testing you out'.

9. Lesu - Lemah sumber (weak sources) - 'okay, you can refer to fi zilal..and, erm, fi zilal, and, erm..did i say fi zilal?'

And our favorite acronym for today:

10. Diarea -Di kelas, anak-anak diremehkan (neglecting our children)- not giving a thought towards our mutarabbi, never caring whether they live or die. Trust me, fall into this disease and they'll go out of da'wah faster than real diarrhoea comes out of the body.

Love, your unqualified doctor. ^^v

2 comments:

nars said...

zapppp!

in need of 'tarbiyah dzatiyyah vaccine'.

Astro Punk said...

Salam..i think you should not say that someone is hearing hell while experiencing it firsthand.They sure haven't been to hell and I know you writing it on no.7 is just an expression..ut you get my point.I don't think its right.My opinion.