on how to train your inner dragon (to keep on the right path)

Lots of things are going on in these a'changing times.

Someone is no longer linked to the murder of a central Asian woman. An 'invincible' dictator and his sons suddenly find themselves not that invincible anymore. islam is making its way into the hearts and minds of people in unexpected places, like the Caucusus in addition to expected places, like Egypt (malaysia? i don't really know if we've woken up yet -.-). Capitalism is losing its popularity (i'm not making biased statements, although i acknowledge my bias. The last statements come from the Economist)

If you're reading this blog a few decades into the future, this is an inside view of the times that i'm living in. it is the year 2011, and i still have one more year at LSE, provided i get to plow through these books.

if islam has made its way into the hearts and minds of people, it hasn't materialised en masse. Yet. But i'm happy to see people get their ray of light. that moment of awareness, when it dawns on you the question of 'what am i going to do with my life?' and you decide that reverting back to faith and the correct way of life is the only way out.

i don't know how to describe that awareness, cause you have to feel it to know it.

Seeing my brothers getting the same feeling, i remembered when i was in their shoes.

Lost, because i didn't know what to do next.

Scared, because i had so many mistakes and unsettled jahiliyyah. "alah, nak tegur-tegur orang, tengok diri sendiri la wei!" ("alah, you want to preach to people, see yourself first wei!")


Scared, because the feeling might go away.


Heavy, because of the milkshakes.

Heavy, because of the responsibility that comes with realisation.

To be honest, one of my ulterior motives in joining circles at first was because there was delicious food, and i was too lazy to cook. Yes, i thought it was refreshing to learn quran and stories of the sahabah and all, but it was just like 'yay, at least im doing something good tonight' and then back to square one.

But God has his ways.

I was in Paris, and after the trip i was supposed to go 'somewhere' (ooo..mysterious kan). But you know, the devil whispers a lot.

When suddenly, this message (message from Above??) came in:

"salaam. dengar kata xnak pergi ____ ? me pun dulu macam tu gak, biasalah dah berseronok2 siapa nak pergi program keagamaan..."

"salaam. i heard you didn't want to go to____? i was like that also, that's normal, when you're having fun who wants to go for religious programs.."

me: *ripped to shreds*

only hearts of composite steel could resist a message like that. So after much 'urghhs' and 'groannns' i eventually went.

And got a metaphorical slap-in-the face.

After that its all history (i don't think that part of my life was archived in this blog).

Its weird how different people come to terms. One of the sahabah accepted Islam after he lost a wrestling match to the Prophet SAW. Some get affected when their friends are affected. Some suddenly awaken in their solitude in the library.

Programs, friends, our naqib, groups of people with similar understanding. These are just vehicles, tools that God sent for helping us. The real thing is that God wants good for you.

So the next big question is: how do we maintain that awakening? Our internal battles are more gut-wrenching than stepping on a landmine in the heat of the Vietnam War.

Maybe we could pick a leaf out of the story of the Ashabul Kahfi (Companions of the Cave). They were youth who shared the same beliefs and wanted to protect themselves from the oppression and darkness rampant all around them.

"And We made their hearts firm and strong (with the light of Faith in Allâh and bestowed upon them patience to bear the separation of their kith and kin and dwellings, etc.) when they stood up and said: "Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens and the earth, never shall we call upon any ilâh (god) other than Him; if we did, we should indeed have uttered an enormity in disbelief. These our people have taken for worship âliha (gods) other than Him (Allâh). Why do they not bring for them a clear authority? And who does more wrong than he who invents a lie against Allâh. (The young men said to one another): "And when you withdraw from them, and that which they worship, except Allâh, then seek refuge in the Cave, your Lord will open a way for you from His Mercy and will make easy for you your affair (i.e. will give you what you will need of provision, dwelling, etc.)." (Al Kahf:14-16)


And Allah showed them the way. Lots of things are still waiting to happen, in these 'a changing times :-)