Sunday, March 30, 2014

little gestures, big love

"Assalamu'alaikum ustaz"

"Waalaikumussalam. Ramai geng" (quite a big gang you have there)


"Ada bungkus? Ada nak tambah?" (Any takeaways? Any add-ons?)

"Ada 2 roti kosong. Tak tambah" (2 plain rotis. Nothing to add)

Why would anyone ask about takeaways and add-ons? It was a weird question, but i appreciate that the shaykh is being friendly.


"Orang tadi dah bayar" (he paid for it already)

Ahhh, so that explains the takeaway question.

Upon hearing those four words, my heart shed a tender tear.

He paid for it.

To put it in another way: he, a prominent shaykh, a leader among the ranks of du'at, honoured you eventhough he hardly knows you.

To others that might only be worth a few ringgit. But to a jund majhul (unknown soldier) like me, that is more precious and poignant than attending daurahs every night of the week.

How true is this statement: a truthful man communicates to other truthful men more through his actions than through his tongue.

Afterwards i gave a message to him: "salam ustaz, jazakallah belanja roti canai pagi tadi (y)" (salam ustaz, thank you for the roti canai this morning)

And he replied.

"Antum orang mulia..allah sentiasa murahkan rezeki" (you are noble people..allah will always provide for you)


I will never delete that message :')

Friday, March 28, 2014

that tingling feeling

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

If today was your last day

*allah is sufficient for me, he is the best disposer of affairs. Make me die as a muslim, and join me with the soliheen..

Monday, March 24, 2014

23 on 23

23rd march 2009. My last birthday in the 'black hole', before Allah broke my chains and set me free from the enveloping darkness, pain and nothingness.

now 5 years have passed and i am 23.

A lot can happen in 5 years.

you can come to realise that the world you once knew,
is nothing but an illusion, trapping all souls but a few.
you can lose a close friend, whose time was up and due. Only twenty-four, but touched more hearts than a man who's fourty-two.

others, you also lose, but not to an earthy mound.
this dunya took them and shook them, till their hearts flipped
and turned around
leaving behind no word or sound.

but don't be disheartened,
there are others on this road,
whose hearts never waver
while they shoulder crushing loads

they are chosen by the Master
heroes coming to your aid
they're not unblemished angels
but they will always keep you straight.


let's try to make the best of our short lives. abu hurairah lived with the prophet less than 5 years, but he used his abilities to the maximum and narrated more hadeeth than everyone else.

thank you for all the wishes and du'as.

maybe this will be my last birthday as a (fill in the blank). maybe, just maybe.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

the carpet in the corner

I am a carpet in the back corner of a mosque. That may not be as glamorous as being a khat writing on the wall or a gigantic chandelier hanging from the ceiling, but

Who am i to complain. Carpets get changed every now and then, so might as well enjoy my time here before the dust settles. I've been here only a few months, the old carpets were replaced because a really Big Man came to the mosque to officiate a ceremony, and apparently green just wouldn't do. I asked the front-door carpet, how was it? What did it feel like to be graced by two Very Important Feet?

"Rough. A bit sweaty. Somewhat smelly. Like any other feet."

Please forgive his sarcasm. I guess you tend to be grumpy if you get stepped upon everyday.

Contrary to what you might think, being a carpet isn't all that bad. We're vacuumed once a week by this kindly old man and then sprayed with, what's the name of that thing? Febriz? Febreeze? I can't remember, my head's full of fluff. Assuming i have a head, that is. Sure, there's the occasional saliva drool or 'urethral discharge' (little children are a particular dread. I can still hear the carpet in the middle, screaming in horror as a little boy walking with his father suddenly stood still, said 'daddy, i want to weewee' and let loose without a moment's pause. *shudder*) but overall, things are awesome.

If i have something to complain about, it's that i hardly ever get used. Except on fridays. Lucky those front-row carpets, they always have visitors. Why not build a mosque with just two rows then? I don't know, human logic escapes me. I heard the imam's mat (he's been here the longest, no one dares to change him because he's a particular favorite of the imam. He is also the wisest and most rug-ged amongst us) say that humans have even more fluff in their head than carpets. 

So that has been my life so far. Looking forward to Fridays, and passing the time looking at those 'wise and rug-ged' humans who are a staple feature of this place.

Until something interesting happened a week ago. 

After the last prayer of the day, all those humans would go back and do whatever it is humans do. But last week, all of them went back except for one small group. They walked to the back of the mosque and *nervous excitement* sat on me.

Me! Of all the carpets in the world.

These were not like the other humans who usually attended the mosque. They were less wrinkly, laughed at every other sentence..and wore some kind of blue fabric that felt a bit rough. 

Then they sat in a small circle, and suddenly everyone was quiet and sober. They each took out a mid-sized book and all the books had colourful stickers in them. I've seen humans reading these books, but never with stickers. And the things these people talked about, some of them i never heard before.

"..we are khaleefas....ustaziyatul alam..our mosques are half-empty, the carpets gathering dust.."

Did i hear right? Carpets? These humans are strange, they look different, they talk different. They went on and on until the old man came, made a waving gesture and said

"Okay boys, out out. It's time for me to lock the door".

"Thanks uncle."

"So we'll meet again next week? Same place?"

They all nodded in agreement.

"Okay, for starters let's make intention to come to the mosque for fajr every day".

They then got up and left. Interesting. I wonder who they were.